I miss you Lolo!
Today is Lolo's 9th Death Anniversary and I realized how much I missed him. I could still remember that day when I received a call from one of my cousins informing me that he is no longer with us. I was reviewing for my Engineering Licensure Exams. I immediately called home and I couldn't bear to hear the cry of my mom. She passed the phone to my dad and I couldn't recall the first word that I utter. I was still trying to process the fact that he's gone and I couldn't see him anymore.
Months before my review, we visited my Lolo at his home. He was so frail and gone was the jolly face that would greet me. I know he was in pain. I asked mom if he will still be there to see me pass the Licensure Exam and mom said we will hope. I know we were all in denial that he has only a few months to live. I was afraid to leave home and come back without my Lolo. And I hope but God has other plans. Lolo joined his creator 2 months after, the same month when my Lola passed away too.
My mom is the youngest child of my Lolo. I grew up with Lolo staying with us. Lolo as I remember was a funny and intelligent person. He was accelerated all throughout his elementary days. He used to tell me and my sisters stories about his education over and over again. He got accelerated every year. When he was in 1st grade, he got accelerated in the middle of the school year to 2nd grade. The next school year on his 3rd grade, he got accelerated to 4th grade again and so on... That's how smart he was. He was also a math genius. Whenever I asked him to help me with my math assignments, we would go over and over again with his story about his growing up years. He used to tell me to always study hard and be like him. I think that's what inspired me to do my best so Lolo will be proud of me.
As I got older, Lolo would move to stay from our home or my other Aunt’s place and eventually went back to his hometown. We would go there for a visit and drop by his place. One time, I went with my Aunt from my Dad's side. Mom told me not to forget to say hi to him. I brought him fruits and new shirts. When I saw him, I know he was happy to see me because he got all the smiles on his face. Although at the back of my mind, I was wondering if he remembered my name. So I asked him if he knew me and he said “Yes of course, you are the middle child of my youngest daughter”. I told him I have gifts for him but he asked if they have letters for him. "They" , meaning my Mom and sisters. I told him no but they sent their love to him. When I said the word No, his smile turned sour and I felt bad. I should have told a white lie. But I assured him that we love him. I didn't stay long cause I know I will breakdown in front of him and cry. Those were one of the last memories I have of my Lolo and I really felt guilty of not writing to him. Lolo, I know you are in heaven and are looking down at us. I hope you are proud of me. I miss you so much. Take care of us here. Don't worry, we are taking good care of Mom. I love you so much.
